News conference after
Space X rocket launch gets scrubbed. Trump steps up to the microphones and
points to a reporter.
Reporter: “Mr.
President, another defeat for your administration. The Space X launch was
cancelled due to bad weather. Do you bear any responsibility for the failure?”
Trump: “You’re such a
rude black female reporter.”
Reporter: “Sir, it’s me, Jim Acosta, CNN. I am a White male, just like you.”
Trump: “I blame
Obamagate for this disaster.”
Reporter: “Why?”
Trump: “It’s been in
the papers, Jim. Well, not yours. But you know what I’m talking about and so
does everyone else.”
Reporter: “I don’t.
Please explain.”
Trump: “When you look
at the bad weather, when you look at where it all comes from, lots of people
say it comes from Africa. Where is Barack Hussein Obama from?”
Reporter: “Hawaii?”
Trump: “No! Africa.
All those bad storms originated in Africa. I wanted to drop atom bombs on those
storms and destroy them, but I inherited an empty cupboard from Obama. No
bullets. No nuclear bombs. No Doritos. Nothing. It was in all the papers,
except yours…”
He points to Jim
Acosta.
“…you lying, black
bitch.”
Reporter: “Sir, is it
true you wear a girdle, a diaper and shit continually in your pants?”
Trump grimaces,
grunts, leans over, turns to one side, and violently shakes his right leg.
Trump: “Ah-h-h-h-!
Ivan-ka-ka-ka! Thank you. Thank you very much.”
Trump turns to leave.
Pence drapes a huge, plastic shower curtain over Trump and hustles him off
stage. Pence returns to the podium.
Pence: “Thank you, Mr. President for your tremendous
leadership…ah, fuck, I got it on my shoes! These are my best pair of Florsheim
Wing Tips.”
No comments:
Post a Comment