The
FBI announced a high-ranking White House official, close to the president, is a
“significant person of interest” in their investigation of Russiagate. C’mon, we
all know who it is: Jared Kushner. Who else? It’s already well-known Kushner
has had some questionable financial dealings with the Russians. Question is,
what is Trump going to do about it?
Given his
admiration for North Korean strong boy, President Egg Foo Yung, Trump will take
a page out of Yung’s playbook based on his Dale Carnegie-inspired
autobiography, How to Make Friends and
Influence People to Kill Your Relatives, and throw Kushner under the bus.
The process
has already started…
Bannon:
“Hey boss, want me to start up the bus? This Kushner kid is becoming a real
liability. We need to get rid of him.”
Trump:
“You’re right Steve. You’re always right. You’re Alt Right. Hey, I made a joke.
The fake media never reports my jokes. Bastards.”
Bannon:
“You got it boss. I’m on it.”
Trump:
“You’ll need some muscle. Get Rudy and Christie to help you toss him under the
bus.”
Ivanka:
“No Daddy! No! Not Jared. Why Jared? Why not that Johnny Reb Hobbit, Jeff
Sessions?”
Trump:
“Sweetie, I need Jeff to kick out all the Mexican filth that has crossed the
border illegally and voted for Hillary robbing me of a popular vote victory. He’ll
be doing the ribbon-cutting ceremony at The Wall, when it’s built.”
Ivanka:
“OK, but what has Jared done? He’s been loyal. That’s all that matters, right?”
Trump:
“He’s a nut case, a hot dogger, a kosher hot dog to be sure, but a hot dogger
and worst of all, a showboat. I don’t like showboats.”
Ivanka:
“Daddy, Jared was in the musical production of Show Boat in college.”
Trump:
“So, he’s gay too. Well, he’s done a terrible job of overhauling the government
or rethinking the VA. He’s had a hundred days and still no peace in the Middle
East.”
Bannon:
“We can’t use the bus. Too many bodies piled up there. Might have to use the big
backhoe…”
Trump:
“Hey, hey, don’t talk about Melania that way, Steve. She’s a world-class trophy
wife and a tremendous wet nurse to little Barron.”
Ivanka:
“Daddy, Barron is ten years old for God’s sake.”
Trump:
“Whatever, Anyway, I’m making a speech to a bunch of Moslems. I love the
Moslems, especially their prophet, Muhammad. Great, great guy. Knew him when he
was heavyweight champ. He’s a draft-dodger like me, you know; bone spurs in his
hands, I think. But Jared let me down by not getting this Middle East crisis
fixed before this trip.”
Bannon:
“Boss, we got no bus. What do you want to do with Kushner”?
Trump:
“Oh, you, Rudy and Christie just rough him up a bit.”
Bannon:
“How so?”
Trump:
“I don’t know. Strip him and make him wear off-the-rack clothes.”
Ivanka:
“No Daddy! No! Not off-the-rack clothes!”
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