Fruit is Stranger Than Fiction

They found two Black guys hanging from trees in Southern California. Preliminary reports say it was a suicide. I have my doubts about that theory. I think the medical examiners know that will not fly. If Black guys want to commit suicide, they don’t go out into the forest and hang themselves from a tree.

They drive into a White Neighborhood, wait to get stopped by the cops, then get shot to death. No, those two Black guys did not hang themselves. I’m sure the coroner will come up with a better explanation.

County Coroner gives a press conference to explain the hangings of two Black men.

Coroner: “We’ve concluded it was NOT a suicide.”

Reporter: “Then what? A lynching?”

Coroner: “No, no. It’s much more tragically sublime than that.”

Reporter: “Was it some sort of sublime, kinky sex stimulation thing?”

Coroner: “No! What we have determined from the forensic evidence is these two African Americans were participating in a simulated lynching for a music video remake of Billie Holiday’s Strange Fruit. The director forgot to yell ‘Cut, that’s a wrap.’ The film crew left without advising the two young Black actors the shoot was over, they got tired, fell off their stools…and, well, we’re officially ruling it an accidental music video simulated hanging death due to fatigue.”

Reporter: “So who is responsible?” Someone must be held accountable.”

Coroner: “Exactly. We have a team of investigators talking to Miss Holiday right now.”

Reporter: “What? Billie Holiday is dead!”

Coroner: “I didn’t say she was cooperating.”