Bible Thumper Trump Takes the Oaf of Office

About 160 days to the election. Unfortunately, there will only be about 75 people left in the USA, after the trumpvirus pendejodemic has run its course. Seventy of them will be illegal immigrants who will commit voter fraud by voting several thousand times for Biden. Trump will cry foul. The Supreme Court (which will just be Clarence Thomas) will turnover the election and swear in Donald.

Thomas: “Is this your personal Bible, Mr.  President?”

Thomas opens it up and leafs through it.

Thomas: “Interesting, your Bible has a picture of the singer, Madonna, standing on a crescent moon wearing only a bra and panties.”

Trump: “Hey, you seen one Madonna, you’ve seen them all.”

Thomas: “Back here in the church services for the Passion of the Christ, you’ve changed the 12 Stations of the Cross with the 12 Stations of the Double Cross.”

Trump: “Well, I’m a businessman, a very successful one.”

Thomas: “You’ve changed the proverb; It’s easier for a camel to jump through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to get into Heaven to read: It’s almost as much fun to stick a needle a in the eye of a camel as it is to stick a needle in the eye of Nancy Pelosi by lowering corporate tax rates to Zero Percent.”

Trump: “I’m a firm believer in Biblical Economics.”

Thomas holds Trump’s Bible up to his nose and stares at it closely.

Thomas: “Hey, this looks and smells like somebody took a whiz on it.”

Trump: “Okay, let’s use yours.”

Thomas takes out his Bible out from his judicial robes and hands it over to Trump.

Trump: “Clarence, there’s pubic hair all over this Bible.”

Thomas (sheepishly): “Yeah, it was supposed to be a present for Anita Hill. She turned it down.”

Trump: “Another ungrateful black bitch. I’m telling you man.”

Trump grabs the Bible and takes the Oath of Office.

Thomas: Okay, you’re president.”

Trump turns to make his Second Inaugural Address. He stares out at a vast, empty wasteland that once was Washington, DC. One MAGA-cap wearing guy sits alone. All around him tumbleweed rolls in front and behind him. Huge rats, the size of adult Filipinos, stand upright, orange eyes glowing. In the distance, coyotes are fucking like rabbits. Lady Bunny asks her Jackrabbit boyfriend, “Can you do that?”. Buzzards pick at the bones of dead trumpvirus victims.

Trump: “My fellow American.”

MAGA guy takes off his cap and waves it.

Trump: “Yeah, you! Today I am announcing I am lowering the corporate tax rate to -7.9%. And I’m immediately signing a Presidential Directive to put a stop to all this coyote fucking. This canine fornication stops here and now.”

The upright, Filipino adult-sized rats look at each other, and shrug their shoulders with bewildered looks on their faces.