If Jeff Sessions, aka, Lil’ Sess, were a true, honorable,
slave-owning, Son of the South, after Trump trashed him in that NY Times
interview, he would have walked up to Donald, slapped him across his fat, orange
face with a pair of white, kid gloves and challenged him to a duel.
WHACK! SLAP! SLAP!
Lil’ Sess: “Sir, you have sullied and dishonored my good
name as an incompetent, white supremacist, chief law enforcement officer of these
Confederate States of…uh, I mean…as chief law enforcement officer of these United
States. I challenge you to a duel, sir.”
Trump: “Lil’ Sess, look amigo, if I had known you were
going to recuse yourself, I never would have hired you.”
Lil’ Sess: “Sir, that smart-ass, Yankee comic senator, Al
Franken, cornered me during my confirmation hearing and I had to lie and
therefore, recuse myself.”
Trump: “Sorry, Lil’ Sess, in my White House, loyalty
trumps honesty.”
Lil’ Sess: “Then its settled. We will have a duel to the death
on my Bama plantation after dawn, right after I have sex with one of my sweet,
brown sugar, mulatto female slaves.”
Trump: “No, we’ll have the duel, but on my golf course at
Mar-A-Lago after my breakfast of three Egg ‘n Sausage McMuffins and potato
cakes, right after Melania refuses sex with me again and I’m forced to wake up
Ivanka again.”
Lil’ Sess: “Fine. Golf course. Mar-A-Lago.”
The next morning the duel begins. Lil’ Sess is walking
off the ten paces down the fairway of the 18th hole with a dueling
pistol in his raised right hand.
Lil’ Sess: “One, two, three, four…”
Lil’ Sess is unaware that Trump is quietly foll0owing
behind him in a golf cart with his dueling pistol aimed at the back of his
head.
Lil’ Sess: “Eight, nine, TEN!”
Before Lil’ Sess can turn around, Trump lets him have it
at point blank range.
BANG!
Lil’ Sess: “OUCH! Fuck, that hurt! You, sir, are a
cheating, Yankee, scalawag, carpetbagger Northern Aggressor with no honor.”
Trump: “That’s how we have duels on 5th Avenue.”
Trump turns to his golf cart driver.
Trump: “OJ, so glad to see you out of jail on parole. The
media was very unfair to you. So, besides being my golf cart driver, what else
are you doing?”
OJ: “I just got a great commercial endorsement deal with
Ginzu Steak Knives. You know Donald, those Ginzu knives are much sharper than
the one I used. Slice, dice, chop, peal, slash, gut, behead. Ginzu knives do it
all.”
Trump: “Sounds like you just wrote a slogan, buddy. Good
for you. Now, toss Lil’ Sass’s body on the back of the cart. I left an empty shoe
box he should fit in. Perfect size casket. Let’s get back to the clubhouse. I’m
hungry for a triple-decker, bacon, cheeseburger, jumbo fries and a large
vanilla malt. How ‘bout you?”
OJ: “Sounds good, boss.”
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